On laughter, kindness, and the small ways we change each other
This idea starts at a bar.
Just outside of town on Country Road, there’s a bar. It’s a little rundown, but it’s a wild place. It has bras hanging from the ceiling and graffiti on every piece of furniture in the place, including the bar and the floor. I remember going there one night. There were only a few people inside, and it was pretty chill. Nothing much was going on. We were drinking beers and rum and Cokes with friends, music playing in the background, and everything seemed calm.
Then “Free Bird” started playing.
The music didn’t get louder, but the bar did. Everybody started laughing. People who had just been sitting there were suddenly alive. The mood went from calm content to vibrant happiness. I’m sure I don’t have to explain this too much. We all know what that’s like. We go to a party or a wedding, the DJ plays the song, and the same thing happens. Something changes in the room.
It’s the same everywhere around us. Movies, food, pictures, the forest — almost anything in our environment can make us happy or excited.
And I had a moment like this the other day.
I was at one of those budget stores, either Dollar General or the Dollar Store. I don’t really remember. But when you go into those places, they are often torn apart. People don’t always care for the store. Things are left in the wrong aisles, shelves are messy, and before long, the mess just gets away from everyone. But there was a lady there, a little older than me, and she was cleaning up the store.
She clearly did not work there. She was just putting things back on the shelves, smiling, happy, like it was the most natural thing in the world. I got behind her in line, and she kept doing it all the way until checkout.
And of course, that made me happy.
There was something beautiful about seeing someone joyfully working at somebody else’s job. She was happy to talk to me, happy to stand there in line, making eye contact, very serene.
Well, I wanted to talk with her. I wanted to find out about her because it was so unusual. Of course, I didn’t, because I’m a big, huge man, and walking up to a small older woman to ask why she is cleaning up a store she doesn’t work at could feel strange, maybe even creepy.
But let’s get to the point: this lady made my day.
She made me smile, and she made me think about how one person can affect everyone around them.
Darla, my wife, is the same way. She will often say, “Oh, I made you laugh. I try to do that once a day.” It is part of her day, maybe even one of her goals, to make someone laugh. And I assure you, she is no comedian. But she smiles at people. She listens to them.
What a saint. Literally.
I can’t always do that. I avoid some people. Mainly, people who do not care to listen. But Darla will still try.
That’s what I saw in that store. It wasn’t just that the lady was cleaning up a mess. She brought something into the room with her. Darla does the same thing. The same way a song can change the mood in the bar, a person can change a small corner of the world. We can be that song for somebody else.
In my daily writings that I keep for myself, I once wrote: Be the best part of somebody’s day. I think that’s what we should all try to do. Be the best part of somebody else’s day.
Maybe that is just a smile. Or it is a compliment. It could be listening, or telling a joke, saying hi, or saying good morning. And on the other side, maybe it is responding, laughing, or smiling back. I have noticed this not only in other people but also in myself. Sometimes we try not to laugh at silly things because we don’t want to look foolish. But honestly, I think that intuition is wrong.
I would rather live happy and be thought a fool than live sad and miserable.
Who am I really trying to impress?
I know I’ve written about this before, and I’m sure I’ll write about it again after this. What we personally do influences what others do. If we are kind, other people notice. And sometimes, without even knowing it, they become a little kinder too. When we laugh, others want to laugh with us. When we smile, others feel invited to smile back.
Maybe we can all be in that bar of life, where “Free Bird” is playing and the room starts to change. The music doesn’t even have to get louder.
We do.
Albert Jr.
Author of The Nature Within Us
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